It's been a long time ...

Wow. Has it really been a month and a half since I've updated this blog? That's precisely the reason I was a bit unsure if I should even start it in the first place. I hope to be a bit better at this whole update thing in the future.

Since the last update, eons ago, I am now walking without a crutch. I've had two doctors appointments. At both, my doctor has told me that I need to step it up with the strength training or I won't be on the snow this season.

We've also been to Mammoth twice this season since my last update. I think I've ridden the gondola down more times in the last two Mammoth trips than I had my entire life (prior to this season). I don't like riding the gondola down. It means I'm not skiing down.

This has got to stop.

I need to resolve (and no New Year's resolutions here) - to getting my leg stronger. To get rid of the popping sound every time I walk. To get on the bike seven days a week, not just four. To change up the strengthening - it's not just about squats anymore. Maybe I'll actually get to a real gym one of these days.

We go to Mammoth on the 16th for five days. I'd like to attempt to take my equipment for nothing more than motivation. Okay, and maybe a wedge behind Campbell on 11.

Reality Check

Every Thanksgiving since 1999, I've been at the start line of the Run to Feed the Hungry in Sacramento. Over those years, the race has grown from 8,000 to more than 30,000 and is now Sacramento's largest road race. It's a great Thanksgiving tradition for me - one that to give up, you're going to have to dangle something better than a 'Round the World ticket. Actually, I don't really know WHAT you could dangle in front of me to give it up.

This was the first year in the last 10 that I wasn't at the start line on Thursday morning. I didn't run with the masses down J Street. I didn't see the people playing football in McKinley Park. (Sidebar - a few years back, my cousin Mark, in a beer bottle costume, ran off-course, into the game, caught a pass, scored a touchdown and came back to the race. The whole thing was played out in slow motion, just like out of a sitcom.) And I didn't get to taste that long straight-away down Elvas Blvd for the last two miles.

Instead, I kissed Mike and Campbell good-bye in the starting corral and hobbled my way past the start to get a good photo. To say I was a bit emotional is an understatement. As I write this, I'm still pretty devastated that I didn't get to run this year. And as you might be able to guess, I'm not exactly handling being broken all that well.

Mike and Campbell at the start:


And coming in for the finish:


On the upside - I'm no longer in a big, huge, full-leg brace and have "graduated" to a shorter brace. I'm still swollen and a bit bruised though. On Tuesday 11/24, the nurse took out my stitches.



Doctor then told me that I should be working heavily on range-of-motion (ROM) now - and to start physical therapy on Monday 11/30.

While I was in Sacramento, Mike and I went to the gym - me to work on the bike, Mike to work out. In 20 minutes on the bike, I completed the same amount of revolutions as I normally would in about three minutes. It was tough to straighten and even tougher to bend on every revolution. And it - for lack of a better word - sucked being the one person in the entire gym who could barely ride the bike. Long way to go.

But all that being said, I've been walking well without crutches and hope to "graduate" to driving again soon.

Let's Try Something New

On Tuesday, my doctor told me that I could sleep without a brace on if I'd like. Many of you would think that I would jump at the opportunity. And in some other circumstance, maybe I would. If I hadn't dreamt about straightening my leg the first night home from New Zealand - and then waking up screaming in pain (because I slept without a brace), I probably would have taken him up on the offer right away.

Instead, I waited a couple of days.

Tonight is Friday and it will be the first night I'm brace-less (GASP!). I'm just slightly nervous and hoping not to dream about straight leg poses in yoga, hamstring stretches from a standing position, racewalking, a follow through on a kick - or pretty much anything else that requires a straight leg. And if I do - you, you over there in Siberia, will probably hear it.

I have seen a bit of improvement in range of motion over the last two or three days. I've been consistently attempting to sit with my leg straight out - and on several occasions, have been able to get the back of the leg flat on the couch. Granted, a couch (or bed for that matter), isn't a solid surface, so I might be tricking myself into thinking I am fully extended. If the soreness is any indication, yeah, I think it's fully extended. Now, I just want to start building muscle back. I've never had legs this skinny!

At one point on Wednesday, I was also able to bend it about 90 degrees. That was huge! It took me a while to get it out of that position, but wow! After coming back from NZ, it took about a month and at least six sessions of physical therapy to get it at 90 degrees.

Of course, today, I think I overdid it a bit. Was out of the house at an all-day meeting and dang, is this thing sore. On the way home from work (Mike and Campbell were so gracious to drive 25 miles each way to pick me up), the hole under the centered band-aid in the photo below started having - all I can describe them as - labor pains. It felt like someone was sticking a needle into the wound and then it would be gone. Two minutes later, they'd stick another needle. Again, then it'd be gone. This went on the entire 25 miles home. Mike told me that's what it feels like when it's healing. I just hope I don't have to feel it on the other four holes!

Here's what my leg looks like after walking on it all day at a meeting. Ouch.

It's a Brand New Dressing!

Part of my surgery discharge instructions was to make an appointment for one week post-op to take off the dressing, and two weeks post-op to take out the stitches. Since the doctor is in the office only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I was hoping to make my appointments for the next two Tuesdays in a row. But since they told my wonderful, fabulous husband to make the follow up - he made the first one for Thursday.

For the past couple of days, I've noticed that the swelling has substantially subsided and the muscle mass in my quad is close to non-existent (this I am NOT happy with). This means that I have been constantly readjusting the brace to keep it from falling down. And the way one of the brace straps sit - hits right on the most painful area of just under my knee - where they drilled into the bone. Whenever I walk, it felt like the brace was pulling the dressing down with it. And...it...hurt.

So I called this morning hoping that I could get the dressing off two days early and didn't get in. Seems they had 70 ... yes, seven-zero ... people to see today. Went about my work, took a shower on lunch break and decided to try once more. Got me in! Yay!

First thing on order was to cut off the dressing. I was cringing like a little kid thinking it was going to hurt. I was wrong. Wow - so THAT'S what my knee looks like. I could hardly remember. The initials of the doctor were still there. The iodine, still there. And I've started a giant bruise on my lower leg. Now, that's going to get ugly.

And holy crap. I have five holes in my leg.

See below.

As the dressing is coming off.

















After all was said and done.

















The doctor said that I should now be starting to extend and bend the leg to help with range of motion. If not, my hamstrings will become way too tight. Since I generally have tight hamstrings anyway (down dog is not my specialty in yoga), I am doing my darndest not to let the tight hamstrings happen.

Doctor also said that I don't have to wear the brace when in "controlled environments" - he seems to think my home is one - so I have been brace-less for the last few hours. I can feel a lot of pressure on that point under my knee when I stand. Maybe it's the culmination of not having full dressing (pressure) on the wound and using the muscles for the first time in a week.

The long road is barely beginning. As I was leaning on crutches in the family room and watching Campbell engrossed in Warren Miller's Storm, it hit me. Recovery is really going to be a b***h.

Post-Op - Day 2

Friday night, I was supposed to be at Old Ironside's in Sacramento at The Brodys show. Pamm and Nathan were coming in from Alaska - so we had decided to take a quick trip up north.

Instead, I spent Friday night with an ice pack on my ultra-swollen right knee, drugged up and watching TV as Mike headed up to Sacramento to hang out in my hometown without me.

Late in the day on Friday, I had noticed that whenever I'd get up and walk around the house (with crutches, of course), my right foot would start to turn purple. I can understand that it was probably the blood rushing from my knee to my foot. Seeing that I'm not Barney, it was a little unnerving. I called my doctor's office at 4:30 - and they said that I may need to loosen up some of the bandages if loosening up the brace doesn't do the trick. But, that I'm also not supposed to touch the dressing. I'm still trying to figure out how to get this done.

I was also concerned that when I walk around the house, it feels like the monster of a brace is falling down, and pulling the dressing down with it. I'm worried that I'll pull the stitches out if I continue to walk around. Not so, said my doctor's office. The stitches are knotted in and won't be pulled out by the gauze. Whew. That's good. Now I just have to make sure that the brace is on tight at the top and tight at the bottom to hold it in place. Not an easy task when your knee is the size of a regulation basketball.

Post-Op - Day 1

Everyone told me that the second day was going to be really rough. I was prepared to be in bed all day, taking my ultra-strong (and after Internet research, highly-addictive) Norco pain medication and sleeping.

The first day post-op ... well, it really wasn't that bad. I was sore. I moved pretty slowly. My appetite still isn't completely there. But that was it. By about 10:30 a.m., I have to admit that I was slightly bored.

My mom flew in from Sacramento to help out for the next week. With Campbell as busy as a bee and Mike even busier with work, she's taking time out of retirement to help a broken daughter. From running small errands to pick up more ice for my ice compressor thing, to driving me to DMV and helping get me to the front of the line for a temporary handicapped placard, it's nice to have her here. We'll start driving each other crazy tomorrow.

As for recovery - I've been able to bend my leg a bit more as the brace is locked so I can't fully straighten. Gravity is definitely not my friend. The bone soreness returns every moment I attempt to move the leg up, and then subsequently place it on the floor.

I found a blog/forum that's made me realize that I probably should have done a bit more research into the pros and cons of ACL reconstruction with allograft before committing. I suppose there's a right path for everyone. I'd like to think that my ortho surgeon - also a skier who takes off multiple weeks in the winter to ski in Europe - would recommend the best for my activity level and obsession with sliding on two sticks down the mountain. At least, I hope so. Only time will tell.

Oh, and I braved a shower today - to which everyone in this household is thankful.

Surgery day

I've never been broken before. So I've tried to equate it with something I understand. You know when you take your car in to get something fixed for the first time? When you get it back from the dealer or shop, it just isn't the same. That's what I'm worried about. That I'm not going to be the same. I already know that - but it didn't exactly hit me until this morning.

Mike dropped me off at 7:30, got Campbell to school and by the time he got back - I was already in pre-op. Had to change into one of those completely unflattering gowns, get sticked for an IV and wait. They let Mike come back to hang out with me prior to wheeling me into surgery. Thankfully, he brought his computer and my phone. He worked. I surfed. It passed the time.

While in pre-op, I was visited by person after person, nurse, PA, anethesiologist, etc. etc. It was a party in my little area. Dr. Watson came by to say hello, see if I was ready and then marked my leg. I was disappointed he didn't mark a "This End Up" arrow like Mike. But happy he worked on the right one.
(Yep, completely unflattering)

And then, it was time to go. They had given me some drug to relax me prior to the anesthesia, so I don't exactly recall how I got to the OR. Once in the OR, I remember they were listening to music (sadly, not Roger Clyne) and they were all pretty happy - maybe that's how surgeons help you get comfortable, who knows. They gave me an oxygen mask and started pumping me with whatever was going to knock me out. I remember coughing. And that was that.

Then I woke up. I wasn't in a lot of pain, it was just throbbing at the top of my tibia (or fibula, not sure which). I didn't realize at the time, but they fastened the "new" ACL to my bone. Ouch. The post-op nurse - who told me his name as I was barely conscious, so I have no clue what he said - gave me something to help with the throbbing and said that if I needed more in 10 minutes, I could have more. About 40 minutes and numerous power naps went by before I realized I hadn't had any additional pain drugs. I wasn't planning in trying to be superwoman through this.

When Mike came back, I got the download. Turns out, my ACL was completely blown. But Dr. Watson didn't see anything wrong with my meniscus, so there was no meniscus repair. That made me pretty darn happy. It means that I'll be able to recover a bit quicker than if the meniscus needed to heal. I suppose if there was a silver lining, that was it.

After a few hours in recovery, a few doses of some pretty strong drugs, and repetitive questioning because I couldn't remember what I had or had not already asked Mike and the nurses - they let me go. Mike set me up in the spare room (read: TV) with pillows, my computer, the cryo pump and the latest issues of Ski and Skiing. Yep, all the necessities.

Mike's parents came over and took Campbell out to dinner. The little guy was concerned for mommy's "owie" when he saw how large my knee brace makes my leg. Mike had a talk with him after picking him up from school - and for once, I think Campbell listened to daddy!

So I've been told that it's okay to start bearing weight on the leg. One step at a time. It hasn't been all that easy to move, period. Not sure exactly how this whole weight bearing thing is going to pan out. All I know - this first night is going to be tough.